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Unexpected Writings » THE CREATIONS » Stories » Echo...

Echo...

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26 Re: Echo... on Tue Jan 18, 2011 9:55 pm

dezzy.baby1

avatar
Great Add!
I thought they knew she was a female!!
man..i hope that Nelle okay!!
ready for the next add!


_________________

27 Re: Echo... on Tue Jan 18, 2011 10:50 pm

EBz Perradize

avatar
heatRAE! wrote:THAT WAS AMAZING ADD MORE SOON!!!

Wow he thought I was a boy. lmao DAMNnnn I must be a thug FORREAL FORREAL!

wow nelle almost died. im glad she is ok now!

OMG this is soooooo intense add more soon

Yes ma'am! That is why I picked Teyana Taylor for your character because though she is not gay/bi she likes baggy/guy clothes and doesn't care if it's in public, at the grammy's, or at an opening of a new club! She is so versatile! && U r a thug more than u think! silent


SexyAriza!! wrote:danmmmmmm...
that's all i can say!!!
good add...didn't even know they thought she was a he!! lol
ADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Yepperzz! Lolx Which is y she keeps to herself (for the most part)! But, I wonder what Rache is up to? Guess we'll have to wait and see bounce


dezzy.baby1 wrote:Great Add!
I thought they knew she was a female!!
man..i hope that Nelle okay!!
ready for the next add!

Her mom and little brother did but that's about it! Everyone else thought that her mother had two sons. Crazy huh? But, i'm pretty sure she is gonna b fine...Lolx U need to be worried about Hells Angel ole menacing, heartless ass! I wrote her part already and it' not even her turn! Razz

28 Re: Echo... on Wed Jan 19, 2011 4:57 pm

J'Adore

avatar
Noooo not Latham!!!!! He's too fine!!!!! lol i loved this add for reall...
who couldnt tell tht was a girl?? really La? Really?
anyways, Nelle's ok, riigh? and im guessing the two know
each other?

well...i need moree! great add btw!

uppz!!!


_________________








Street Lights

-New. Click it. Read it. Love it.-


Check Them Out Before They End!
1. Loving A Lie; Lauren Londaon & T.I.
2. Pulse; Trey, Chris, Drake & More!
3. A Brother's Secret; Trey Songz & Chris Brown

More Coming Soon!
Concrete Garden


♥Mr. & Mrs. God Fearing Couple♥
http://z15.invisionfree.com/Tattooed_Lyrikz/index.php?act=site

29 Re: Echo... on Thu Jan 20, 2011 6:13 pm

EBz Perradize

avatar
tongue Idk what kind of ppl we're dealing with lolx but it seems as no one knew! I have written the next couple of parts and they will be up tomorrow! Including ur's Rain! && Yes, Jeanelle will be ok(it really wouldn't be a story if she wasn't lolx lolx) Very Happy Very Happy Laughing Laughing

30 Re: Echo... on Thu Jan 20, 2011 7:22 pm

EBz Perradize

avatar
Something to make you guys ask why I even bothered posting! Lolx (Dnt Kill me)



"You talk a lot of shit for a bitch who ain't about nothing."

I looked up from the slop on the cold, steel gray, metal tray and cocked my head to one side. The fuck did this little child think she was talking to? "Say what?" I asked, dropping my spoon back into the lump of oatmeal. The girl that everyone called Char just looked at me. "I didn't stutter, newbie. I said, you talk too fucking much much for a second rate bitch! Got everybody scared of you and I don't see nothing worth being scared of." She crossed her arms and looked dead in my face as if she was daring me so say something back.I laughed so hard;her playing hard was cute. Next thing I know milk was being thrown in my face face followed by the carton. "Laugh now ugly slut," Char barked as she stood over me. The tall blond had at least six inches and a hundred pounds on me but Tae-Tae has never been a weak bitch!



Last edited by EBz Perradize on Fri Jan 21, 2011 4:57 pm; edited 1 time in total

31 Re: Echo... on Thu Jan 20, 2011 10:14 pm

BarbiieBiitch

avatar
Damn tht was over fast ...lol I likeie. Add more

32 Re: Echo... on Thu Jan 20, 2011 10:40 pm

golden07

avatar
Admin
I just realized I didn't comment...

OMG I FRIQQIN LOVE IT
LOL

Rae part was a beast. I didn't
realize they treated her just like
a nigga hard up not knowing she
was a she...lol...Good adds can't wait
for more.


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Stories by Me:
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]As always my compliments goes to Jas
http://unexpected.heavenforum.com

33 Re: Echo... on Thu Jan 20, 2011 11:02 pm

dezzy.baby1

avatar
umm ma'am i need you to post the next part of that add!!
Like really!!
bump!!


_________________

34 Re: Echo... on Fri Jan 21, 2011 7:00 am

SexyT

avatar
Gurl...u better add more
cuz u teasing us with dat add
and it ain't funny (c i'm getting in2 character already!!) lol


_________________
Stories running
My Happy Ever After NEW
Love Mist

Coming Soon
Last Call

Will be revived
Underneath the Make-Up
Dark Secret

Thanks for all the support ladies!!
Please read and leave feedback!!






#ThanksJas

35 Re: Echo... on Fri Jan 21, 2011 4:47 pm

J'Adore

avatar
Yay Rain!!!!!
Tae finna set it off. yu know yur wrong for tht add! lol addd pleaseee!!!


_________________








Street Lights

-New. Click it. Read it. Love it.-


Check Them Out Before They End!
1. Loving A Lie; Lauren Londaon & T.I.
2. Pulse; Trey, Chris, Drake & More!
3. A Brother's Secret; Trey Songz & Chris Brown

More Coming Soon!
Concrete Garden


♥Mr. & Mrs. God Fearing Couple♥
http://z15.invisionfree.com/Tattooed_Lyrikz/index.php?act=site

36 Re: Echo... on Fri Jan 21, 2011 5:02 pm

EBz Perradize

avatar
Sorry for that ladies!! ADDING NOW...

37 Re: Echo... on Fri Jan 21, 2011 5:03 pm

EBz Perradize

avatar
Continued...

{Recap}: "You talk a lot of shit for a bitch who ain't about nothing."

I looked up from the slop on the cold, steel gray, metal tray and cocked my head to one side. The fuck did this little child think she was talking to? "Say what?" I asked, dropping my spoon back into the lump of oatmeal. The girl that everyone called Char just looked at me. "I didn't stutter, newbie. I said, you talk too fucking much much for a second rate bitch! Got everybody scared of you and I don't see nothing worth being scared of." She crossed her arms and looked dead in my face as if she was daring me so say something back.I laughed so hard;her playing hard was cute. Next thing I know milk was being thrown in my face face followed by the carton. "Laugh now ugly slut," Char barked as she stood over me. The tall blond had at least six inches and a hundred pounds on me but Tae-Tae has never been a weak bitch!
{End Recap}

The few people that were around us had started to get up and walk away. They knew that this was about to get real bad real quick. I hit the girl with my tray so fast that it stopped her in the middle of her laughter. She grabbed the front of my shirt and slammed me onto the table, knocking wind from my chest. I used my legs to wrap around her neck and she let me go because she was losing breath.

Char hit me in the stomach and i dropped my legs but not before kicking her right in her nose. As I caught my breath, she held her nose screaming and crying that I had broken it. Damn right I broke it but that should have been the least of her problems. I grabbed the tray and swung it like my last name was Ali, bringing Char down with one hit. She fell hard and I sat on her while hitting her with head shot after head shot. I felt hands pulling at me and realized that the guards had finally decided to break this shit up. I was still kicking the bitch where ever my legs could reach as they put me in hand-cuffs. Before they maced me for trying to bite them as they took me away I spit all in her hair.

Eyes burning, nose feeling raw, I cursed all the way out of the cafeteria. "You ain't talkin' now, huh bitch? Where all that slick shit you was talkin'??" Ask bout me hoe! This shit ain't over! Sleep with your eyes op-". The guard hit me with a night stick;I spit on her shoes. I knew that fighting would get me three nights in confinement but I didn't care. These females were gonna learn to take me seriously, no matter how little they thought I was.

The guard unlocked my cuffs and kicked me into a dark cell; I landed on my hands and knees. "Kick me again, bitch, and you gone lose a foot," I barked through the bars. "I'd like to see the day, Gooden," the fat guard smirked before she turned the hall light off sending me into total darkness. I punched the nearest wall and felt my bone snap. Wincing, I sat in a corner of the room and got mad all over again. I thought about how much I didn't want to be in here. How bold Char was for trying me. How pissed I was at my damn self for breaking my damn finger. How much I hated Jeanelle Jarvis top snitch ass.
That really got me heated as I sat there holding my now swollen finger and thinking back to the day Jeanelle ratted me out...

"I am only going to ask you one more time, Jeanelle. Did you or did you not go in my office and steal my wallet?" The owner of a local car wash were Jeanelle worked was all up in her face. People had started to gather on the little corner where everything was going down. Me and my goons were standing across the street against a wall. I kept my eyes on Jeanelle as she glanced around before shaking her head no.

She had caught me coming out of the main office stuffing the wallet into my bag but I didn't care. When she tried to stop me, I pushed he into the window and slapped her."Don't say shit to no body if you know whats good for you," I whispered as I squeezed her face and shoved her head into the glass again. Now, I was standing across the street with a bad feeling. Jeanelle looked like she was ready to break as the police pulled up.

I tapped my right-hand man, Mecka, {Meck-Ah} telling him that it was time to bounce.As I turned to leave I saw Jeanelle look my way and frown. I mugged her super hard and walked faster. About a block later we heard the sirens coming our way so we split up. I turned into an alley and took out the wallet, pulled the money out, then threw the wallet in a trash pile. Blue lights caught me two blocks later. They tried to put me in a cruiser with Jeanelle but after I tried to kick the life out of her they put me in one by myself. I swore that her ass was mine when I got out of juvie.

The room started gettign cold so I decided to take my ass to sleep until lunch. I made up my mind to be on my best behavior for the rest of the week until my release date. After that, the streets had better stand down 'cause I was going to be a true hell raiser!


Making sure that the window was closed all the way, I crept farther into the dark room. I kicked off my shoes and pulled my tights down my legs before walking into my bathroom. As I looked at myself in the mirror I saw two big hickies on my neck. Damn. I would have to cover them up before I went to Lakenzie's house later. I rolled my eyes. I didn't see why my dad still made me visit her. She was sadder than he was and I had thought that that was impossible. I pulled my hair into a messy knot on the top of my head as I walked back into my room wanting to just fall right to sleep.

"Where the hell you been?" My dad's deep voice scared me shitless. "Mane, don't do that shit! And, out. I been out," I angrily answered while pulling on some pajama pants. He was my dad but 'i did not want him seeing me half naked.

"At two in the God damn morning, Rain?"
"Don't yell at me, dude."
"I will yell all the fuck I want in my God damned, muthafuckin' house!" He reeked of hard liquor;go fucking figure.
"Mane, you're drunk, dad." I said as I tried to get past him and to my bed. He grabbed my arm and squeezed and I yelped.
"Don't fucking test me, Rain. Coming in here smelling like sex. Hickies all on you. Go wash your nasty ass, you fucking hoe," he growled in my face before letting me go and walking out of my room.

I sat on the bed rubbing my arm, mad as hell and hurt. I wanted to cry so bad because this man was not the man who raised me. God, I hated this so much! My dad never cursed or touched me until he got drunk and lately there had been a lot of those days. I hated Lakenzie.

Every since my parents had gotten divorced, everything had gone wrong for me. I can't tell you how many times I have begged her to let me come stay with her. Wondered why she didn't take me and Jeanelle when the custody battle started;they split everything. Money, assets, kids. How in the hell do you split kids? Jeanelle had a great life. She didn't have to deal with the verbal abuse from dad. He always made sure that he never drank around her. Spoiled little bitch. She could do no wrong in their eyes. Why was this so hard for me?

Tears fell from my eyes as I laid in my bed covered from head to toe. I had been doing a lot of that for the last two months...well almost. I had met this really great guy a few weeks ago and he wasn't like the rest of them who only wanted to fuck and go. I had been doing too much of that I really just wanted everything to settle down and go right for me. I smiled a little as I thought about tonight.

He had called me and said that there was something he wanted to show me. I had gladly thrown on some clothes, made sure my dad was k.o. and stuck out my bedroom window. We met by this Latin night club and walked, hand in hand, two blocks down. He showed me this building that had a lot of art work on it. It was beautiful! I had asked him what it was and he said that he owned it and that he had painted the wall himself, with the help of his students. I leaned back against his chest and he held me close by putting his arms around my waist. When I turned to look up at him, he leaned down and kissed me. Man were his lips soft. I couldn't help but want more so of course I was all up for going back to his place.

After that, everything was moving in slow motion to me. From us kissing our way through the front door to him undressing me was all like a dream. He took his time and let me know that he was with me for more than just what he was getting at that point. His phone started ringing so we had to cut things short. Plus, it was getting late. As he walked me back home, I was happier than a kid in a candy store. We kissed and I watched him walk away. Damn he was even fine from the back!

I threw the covers off me and snatched my phone off the night stand so that I could text him goodnight. I got happy when I looked down at my new phone wallpaper, then shot my boo a quick text. He responded right back.

From: New boo
(No subject:) Same 2 u, beautiful

That made me smile and forget about my dad and his temper. I said a quick prayer for the rest of my day and closed my eyes. A perfect ending to an almost perfect night.

::NOTE:: Man #1 revealed! Hope you guys like it! Need {3 ppl} to comment before I continue!! cheers cheers OAN: @Rain--Is Trey an okay choice for you?



Last edited by EBz Perradize on Sat Jan 22, 2011 11:42 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : spelling errors)

38 Re: Echo... on Fri Jan 21, 2011 7:09 pm

dezzy.baby1

avatar
I loved it!
Tae a real bitch...lol she beat the fuck out of char!!
Rain and Latham...damn!! thats gon be kinda fucked up cause he the right hand man of the girl who trying to kill her sister!!
Ready for the next add!!
Bumps


_________________

39 Re: Echo... on Fri Jan 21, 2011 9:10 pm

J'Adore

avatar
OAN: @Rain--Is Trey an okay choice for you?[/quote]


why do yu tease me!?! yes trey is perfect!

damnnn i love this story!!!!!! fukkd up tho. wait...so latham is being chased by ole girl, Rae?? he's a day care owner, and a side kick of Tae's? Who's tryna kill my sister? Im gonna guess Latham got away from Rae?

uppersxz!!!!!


_________________








Street Lights

-New. Click it. Read it. Love it.-


Check Them Out Before They End!
1. Loving A Lie; Lauren Londaon & T.I.
2. Pulse; Trey, Chris, Drake & More!
3. A Brother's Secret; Trey Songz & Chris Brown

More Coming Soon!
Concrete Garden


♥Mr. & Mrs. God Fearing Couple♥
http://z15.invisionfree.com/Tattooed_Lyrikz/index.php?act=site

40 Re: Echo... on Fri Jan 21, 2011 9:11 pm

J'Adore

avatar
can i please count for the 3rd person!?


_________________








Street Lights

-New. Click it. Read it. Love it.-


Check Them Out Before They End!
1. Loving A Lie; Lauren Londaon & T.I.
2. Pulse; Trey, Chris, Drake & More!
3. A Brother's Secret; Trey Songz & Chris Brown

More Coming Soon!
Concrete Garden


♥Mr. & Mrs. God Fearing Couple♥
http://z15.invisionfree.com/Tattooed_Lyrikz/index.php?act=site

41 Re: Echo... on Fri Jan 21, 2011 9:12 pm

J'Adore

avatar
pleaseee! Very Happy


_________________








Street Lights

-New. Click it. Read it. Love it.-


Check Them Out Before They End!
1. Loving A Lie; Lauren Londaon & T.I.
2. Pulse; Trey, Chris, Drake & More!
3. A Brother's Secret; Trey Songz & Chris Brown

More Coming Soon!
Concrete Garden


♥Mr. & Mrs. God Fearing Couple♥
http://z15.invisionfree.com/Tattooed_Lyrikz/index.php?act=site

42 Re: Echo... on Fri Jan 21, 2011 9:27 pm

J'Adore

avatar
just re-read itt, and pop's needa' get the hell on. and who did rain
just finish dealing with?. comin in with hickies. smh i better be carefull!.

Lakenzie's dead wrongg, stupid witchh. whats going on with nelle??


_________________








Street Lights

-New. Click it. Read it. Love it.-


Check Them Out Before They End!
1. Loving A Lie; Lauren Londaon & T.I.
2. Pulse; Trey, Chris, Drake & More!
3. A Brother's Secret; Trey Songz & Chris Brown

More Coming Soon!
Concrete Garden


♥Mr. & Mrs. God Fearing Couple♥
http://z15.invisionfree.com/Tattooed_Lyrikz/index.php?act=site

43 Re: Echo... on Fri Jan 21, 2011 11:22 pm

SexyT

avatar
i'm the 3rd person right???
and i'm next tooo right???
ADD PLEASE!!
Rain seems nice...messed up by divorce tho...
Wat she gon do when she fynd out her man
is part of a plan to kill her siser...or is that y he is with her
in the first place?? gtin info??
this is damn good!!!!
MOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE


_________________
Stories running
My Happy Ever After NEW
Love Mist

Coming Soon
Last Call

Will be revived
Underneath the Make-Up
Dark Secret

Thanks for all the support ladies!!
Please read and leave feedback!!






#ThanksJas

44 Re: Echo... on Fri Jan 21, 2011 11:50 pm

BarbiieBiitch

avatar
So tae. Ain't playing no games
And do Rae know bout rain and lathem
Dis story get better with each character
Add more so we can read bout me.next
I think I'm after rache. ...

45 Re: Echo... on Sat Jan 22, 2011 8:20 am

J'Adore

avatar
Yay!!!


btw, Stomp The Yard is on TBS!!!! =D


_________________








Street Lights

-New. Click it. Read it. Love it.-


Check Them Out Before They End!
1. Loving A Lie; Lauren Londaon & T.I.
2. Pulse; Trey, Chris, Drake & More!
3. A Brother's Secret; Trey Songz & Chris Brown

More Coming Soon!
Concrete Garden


♥Mr. & Mrs. God Fearing Couple♥
http://z15.invisionfree.com/Tattooed_Lyrikz/index.php?act=site

46 Re: Echo... on Sat Jan 22, 2011 8:20 am

J'Adore

avatar
pagee 4!?


_________________








Street Lights

-New. Click it. Read it. Love it.-


Check Them Out Before They End!
1. Loving A Lie; Lauren Londaon & T.I.
2. Pulse; Trey, Chris, Drake & More!
3. A Brother's Secret; Trey Songz & Chris Brown

More Coming Soon!
Concrete Garden


♥Mr. & Mrs. God Fearing Couple♥
http://z15.invisionfree.com/Tattooed_Lyrikz/index.php?act=site

47 Re: Echo... on Sat Jan 22, 2011 8:21 am

J'Adore

avatar
BOOM!!! new pagee!!! new add!


_________________








Street Lights

-New. Click it. Read it. Love it.-


Check Them Out Before They End!
1. Loving A Lie; Lauren Londaon & T.I.
2. Pulse; Trey, Chris, Drake & More!
3. A Brother's Secret; Trey Songz & Chris Brown

More Coming Soon!
Concrete Garden


♥Mr. & Mrs. God Fearing Couple♥
http://z15.invisionfree.com/Tattooed_Lyrikz/index.php?act=site

48 Re: Echo... on Sat Jan 22, 2011 12:00 pm

EBz Perradize

avatar
BarbiieBiitch wrote:So tae. Ain't playing no games
And do Rae know bout rain and lathem
Dis story get better with each character
Add more so we can read bout me.next
I think I'm after rache. ...

Yes ma'am you are after Rache but I will add those parts together like I did the last two! Latham was attempting to tell her about Rain(She wasn't listening) but then all the stuff with Jeanelle happened. Rain's p.o.v. actually describes what he was doing before the chase! silent


SexyAriza wrote:'m the 3rd person right???
and i'm next tooo right???
ADD PLEASE!!
Rain seems nice...messed up by divorce tho...
Wat she gon do when she fynd out her man
is part of a plan to kill her siser...or is that y he is with her
in the first place?? gtin info??
this is damn good!!!!
MOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Yepperzz!! U r #3 and next in line! That deserves a new add!
I asked myself the same question(about Rain and Latham) but you'll have to wait and see!

-∂εfιηε sεx- "тяεy" wrote:why do yu tease me!?! yes trey is perfect!

damnnn i love this story!!!!!! fukkd up tho. wait...so latham is being chased by ole girl, Rae?? he's a day care owner, and a side kick of Tae's? Who's tryna kill my sister? Im gonna guess Latham got away from Rae?

uppersxz!!!!!

That's good to hear! I had trouble picking some of the men but I think everyone will be satisfied(I hope lolx)! Yes, Latham is still being chased, yes he owns a day care and yes he and Tae are [in my Sandy Cheeks voice] "Closer'an two catfish in a skillet"! Lmbo And since you got page four up here, I shall grace you with a new add soon!

49 Re: Echo... on Sat Jan 22, 2011 12:26 pm

SexyT

avatar
waitin on that add!!!
lol


_________________
Stories running
My Happy Ever After NEW
Love Mist

Coming Soon
Last Call

Will be revived
Underneath the Make-Up
Dark Secret

Thanks for all the support ladies!!
Please read and leave feedback!!






#ThanksJas

50 Re: Echo... on Sat Jan 22, 2011 12:59 pm

J'Adore

avatar
woot woot!!!


_________________








Street Lights

-New. Click it. Read it. Love it.-


Check Them Out Before They End!
1. Loving A Lie; Lauren Londaon & T.I.
2. Pulse; Trey, Chris, Drake & More!
3. A Brother's Secret; Trey Songz & Chris Brown

More Coming Soon!
Concrete Garden


♥Mr. & Mrs. God Fearing Couple♥
http://z15.invisionfree.com/Tattooed_Lyrikz/index.php?act=site

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