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Unexpected Writings » THE CREATIONS » Stories » Echo...

Echo...

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1 Echo... on Mon Jan 10, 2011 2:51 pm

EBz Perradize

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Desperate to escape a violent past, Jeanelle Jarvis will stop at nothing. At the tender age of 16 years old, she is out on her own, finally making a name for herself...a bad, bad name. Secret identities, hidden messages, writings on the walls...someone is going to pay. Everyone is going to pay!
With a plan for a vicious revenge, Jeanelle sets off into the shadows of the underground world that she once called "home". But, something is just not right. For every slash, every pleading wimper, every harsh whisper, every muffled scream, there is an echo...

Rain Jarvis: Older sister of Jeanelle; Knows nothing of her sister's struggle. At 18, Rain has been living with her father since he divorced her mother six years ago. The custody battle left her bitter at both her mother and younger sister because she thought that she got the short end of the stick. Living check to check in a rundown two bedroom apartment with her alcoholic father has caused her to turn to men and the streets for piece of mind until...

Rachel Pierce: Having just turned 23, Rachel's life was on the up and up, for once. The streets where all she knew and that wisdom made her somewhat of a mother figure to the neighborhood kids. If only she felt the same. Never having a real family, her views on the matter were tarnished. Her new boy toy, Trevor, was the only reason she even smiled at times. But lately, even he hadn't been doing the trick...

Desire': No last name. Just Desire'. That's what she always said. No one needed to know the rest. Ever heard the saying: "If I tell you then I have to kill you"? That was her motto, literally. Known around the way as "Hells Angel", Desire' was a true street doctor. Whatever your guilty pleasure is, she has it. Weed or work? She has it. 19 years young and counting...but for how long?

Tae Gooden: HBIC, Boss Bitch, Queen T; she answered to all of them. Known for her charm and deadly good looks, Tae was a force to be reckoned with. Breaking niggas down to size was second nature and bodying someone took no thought. At the tender age of 17, she had been in juvie more times than anyone could count. Having just been released for the third time this year, Jeanelle had better watch out...Snitches get stitches, bitch!

Natasha Hampton: Everyone knew when Tasha had been somewhere; there was always destruction left behind. Recently dubbed "Young Taz" by all the d-boys, no one could stop this mini tornado. Standing at only 5'4", this 20 year old street pharmacist was worse than your nightmares. Word is out that a rival gang is trying to take over her turf and she is not the happiest person right now. Hell was about to get its angel back...

Rachelle Thomas: Simply "Rae" to you. Quiet but deadly. Most people didn't even know that she existed and she struggled everyday to keep it that way. The people who did have the displeasure of crossing her path knew right away that she wasn't wrapped too tight but who cares about them? They never seemed to live long enough to tell about it anyway. See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil, right? Though there were many bodies behind her, the blood never seemed to be on her hands...or was it?

Jae Fields: Tread lightly but carry a big stick? Yea, that described the 21 year old future drug lord perfectly...well almost. Faster than a cheetah, quieter than a mouse, Jae Fields definitely had a few screws missing! A walking time bomb, she was more than ready to explode. Everything had an order and a place...had everyone forgotten that? The streets were getting crazier everyday and all she did was sit back and watch...All of these mother were pawns in a field of land minds...


::Note:: Please pay attention to DETAIL!! EVERY picture used to describe the character is from a scene in the story(u will know when it pops up later). Age matters (notice that Rae doesn't even have one). Boyfriends will l8r be revealed (some of your men are trifling)! All characters are bad bitches, but even bad bitches have bad days, right?
**OAN** THANK YOU LADIES FOR MAKING THIS STORY POSSIBLE!



Last edited by EBz Perradize on Fri Jan 14, 2011 2:50 pm; edited 2 times in total

2 Re: Echo... on Mon Jan 10, 2011 4:26 pm

heatRAE!

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IM READY!! Im simply RAE LOL. this is going to be amazing!


everyone is sooooo BAD haha

ADD SOON!!

3 Re: Echo... on Mon Jan 10, 2011 7:42 pm

dezzy.baby1

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I love everyone so far!!! kmsl
I kind of figured out that me and Tasha got beef...lol its good...{im coming for you Tasha lol}

ready for the 1st add!!!
Bumps!!!!!


_________________

4 Re: Echo... on Tue Jan 11, 2011 1:48 am

SexyT

avatar
aarghhhhhhhhhh
How u know I want me some Trevor? lol
I love all the introz...
Can't wait for this story to start.....


_________________
Stories running
My Happy Ever After NEW
Love Mist

Coming Soon
Last Call

Will be revived
Underneath the Make-Up
Dark Secret

Thanks for all the support ladies!!
Please read and leave feedback!!






#ThanksJas

5 Re: Echo... on Tue Jan 11, 2011 7:03 am

BarbiieBiitch

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dezzy.baby1 wrote:I love everyone so far!!! kmsl
I kind of figured out that me and Tasha got beef...lol its good...{im coming for you Tasha lol}

ready for the 1st add!!!
Bumps!!!!!
we. Might just have a shoot out ain't nobody taken my hood lol I'm ready

6 Re: Echo... on Tue Jan 11, 2011 8:46 am

her love is infinite ;)

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omq !!!! i love all the characters !!!! its some people we havent seen on here and def. some people i would use



Last edited by her love is infinite ;) on Tue Jan 11, 2011 6:48 pm; edited 1 time in total

http://shamsthecutieee.tumblr.com

7 Re: Echo... on Tue Jan 11, 2011 11:33 am

EBz Perradize

avatar
Lmbo @ all the comments....1st add coming this week(Pinky Promise) lolx! Glad that you guys like it so far...

@her love is infinite: Thnx hun! And I kinda noticed that some of the girls hadn't been used! Feel free to use them all if u need to!! lolx

8 Re: Echo... on Wed Jan 12, 2011 12:22 am

__eyeCandy

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I ABSOLUTELY LOOOOOVE THE DESCRIPTIONS!!!!
CANT WAIT...
HMMM.... JEANELLE BETTER KNOW WHO SHE WITH! LOLZ...........

9 Re: Echo... on Wed Jan 12, 2011 6:24 pm

golden07

avatar
Admin
YEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!

I LOVE IT... AWESOME INTRO...
I KNOW I'M LATE BUT GOTTA
GIVE MY GIRL PROPS AND SHE
DIDN'T EVEN START...THATS ASHAME

ADD ASAP cheers


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]As always my compliments goes to Jas
http://unexpected.heavenforum.com

10 Re: Echo... on Fri Jan 14, 2011 2:55 pm

EBz Perradize

avatar
Adding now...Not much because i've been busy but i did pinky promise so here you guys go! {{Bump or Dump ladies}}

11 Re: Echo... on Fri Jan 14, 2011 3:40 pm

EBz Perradize

avatar
In the beginning



I could see my breath. I was alive because I could see my breath. As I stood in the damp, freezing room looking down at my battered body I struggled to keep the cold from invading my pores. So this was an out of body experience. I didn't like it.

My attention was drawn back to myself when I heard a whimper. Looking down, I could see my eyes fluttering and my mouth trembling. I just wanted to hug myself, to tell myself that it was going to be okay, that I was going to make it through, but I couldn't. The more I looked down, the more I felt hatred for myself. How could I allow this to happen? To let this continue on for so long, to be a punching bag for this long? I heard footsteps.

Glancing around the small, dimly lit room I soon realized that I didn't need to hide. I didn't want to hide, I wasn't going to hide anymore. I watched as my step-father's shadow grew smaller as he came closer;my jaw clenched. Kneeling over my broken body, he checked my pulse. I hadn't even noticed my mother, Lakenzie, standing in the doorway puffing on a Virginia Slim.

"Well?" She asked in a trembling voice.
"She good," he replied in his gruff voice, running his hand up and down my leg. I wanted to scream. I wanted to somehow crawl back inside myself and fight him off. Fight them off. Lakenzie got loud and hysterical.

"Dammit, Dominic!" I told you not to hit her in the face! How am I going to explain that to her sister when she comes to visit tomorrow?! You went too damn far this time!"

Dominic got up and started chocking her to make her shut up. When he had let her go, she slid down the wall, trembling and crying. I couldn't bring myself to feel bad for her. If I thought that she would have felt it I would have spit on her. Six long years of mental, physical, and sexual abuse all so that she could keep this no good piece of a man. Six years of blaming me for every fight that they had and for every time he didn't come home at night. She was so pathetic.

Dominic had picked my near lifeless body up and was headed for the door. I stepped in front of it and he walked right through me without even flinching. "Where are you taking her, Domi?" my mother kept asking while she followed him to the front door. He didn't bother answering as he walked out the door and slammed it in her face. I watched as my mother just stood there looking at the door and puffing on her cigarette. The look on my face begged her to have some change in heart. Pleaded for her to do something, for once. All hopes were lost when she just turned and walked back towards the living room. I heard her sniffling as she channel surfed. I had to save me on my own.

Labeling Lakenzie as a lost cause, I snatched the door open to follow Dominic and hit the ground, hard. Looking around, I saw that I was no longer in my neighborhood but down by the lake. What in the hell? I thought as I jumped up and began running towards the water looking for a clue. Finally, I spotted Dominic just as he was tossing my body off the edge of the boardwalk. Running like I was on fire, I started punching him in every spot I could reach. He seemed unfazed;he didn't feel a thing. The bastard had the nerve to say a pray and cross his heart. I lost it.

"You fucking bastard! I was alive! Fucking save me, bruh! I'm alive! Please!! I'M ALIVE! Please, sa-"

Suddenly, I felt the icy lake water surrounding me. I felt myself floating downwards and I tasted my blood mixed with the water. I couldn't see anything and the pain caused me not to move. I tried to breathe and choked on water;my nose burned. I felt something sharp connect with the back of my head and before I blacked out completely I saw an angel. Mission Save Nelle: Fail!

I saw going to die alone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ok, what do you think about Jeanelle's part? Bump or dump? If bump, this will be the order of the next couple of parts:
  • Rae
  • Tae
  • Rain
  • Rache
  • Tasha
  • Desire'
  • Jae

12 Re: Echo... on Fri Jan 14, 2011 6:08 pm

J'Adore

avatar
You know its a bump!!!!!
i love this alreadyy!!! pleeaasseeee addd!!!!!! please!


so nelle starts off half dead?? and her mom
and stepdad are so freckn trifflin! ugh!!! Rain needs to kill them!
yess! lol


_________________








Street Lights

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Check Them Out Before They End!
1. Loving A Lie; Lauren Londaon & T.I.
2. Pulse; Trey, Chris, Drake & More!
3. A Brother's Secret; Trey Songz & Chris Brown

More Coming Soon!
Concrete Garden


♥️Mr. & Mrs. God Fearing Couple♥️
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13 Re: Echo... on Fri Jan 14, 2011 7:20 pm

her love is infinite ;)

avatar
i loved it !
bumps !
well , im qoinq to
reread it to
understand it
a lil moree . but
by my first readinq
it was pretty qood !
bumps !!!!

http://shamsthecutieee.tumblr.com

14 Re: Echo... on Sat Jan 15, 2011 2:45 am

SexyT

avatar
Gurl BUMP BUMP!!!
I love it!!


_________________
Stories running
My Happy Ever After NEW
Love Mist

Coming Soon
Last Call

Will be revived
Underneath the Make-Up
Dark Secret

Thanks for all the support ladies!!
Please read and leave feedback!!






#ThanksJas

15 Re: Echo... on Sat Jan 15, 2011 10:11 am

J'Adore

avatar
bumperszx!!!!!!!


_________________








Street Lights

-New. Click it. Read it. Love it.-


Check Them Out Before They End!
1. Loving A Lie; Lauren Londaon & T.I.
2. Pulse; Trey, Chris, Drake & More!
3. A Brother's Secret; Trey Songz & Chris Brown

More Coming Soon!
Concrete Garden


♥️Mr. & Mrs. God Fearing Couple♥️
http://z15.invisionfree.com/Tattooed_Lyrikz/index.php?act=site

16 Re: Echo... on Sat Jan 15, 2011 10:14 am

J'Adore

avatar
omg i just realized nelle's my sister! lol
yeaa, Rain needs to kill them for reall

cant wait for the up coming adds!


_________________








Street Lights

-New. Click it. Read it. Love it.-


Check Them Out Before They End!
1. Loving A Lie; Lauren Londaon & T.I.
2. Pulse; Trey, Chris, Drake & More!
3. A Brother's Secret; Trey Songz & Chris Brown

More Coming Soon!
Concrete Garden


♥️Mr. & Mrs. God Fearing Couple♥️
http://z15.invisionfree.com/Tattooed_Lyrikz/index.php?act=site

17 Re: Echo... on Sat Jan 15, 2011 10:15 am

J'Adore

avatar
Boom! New page! New Add certainly deserved!!!


_________________








Street Lights

-New. Click it. Read it. Love it.-


Check Them Out Before They End!
1. Loving A Lie; Lauren Londaon & T.I.
2. Pulse; Trey, Chris, Drake & More!
3. A Brother's Secret; Trey Songz & Chris Brown

More Coming Soon!
Concrete Garden


♥️Mr. & Mrs. God Fearing Couple♥️
http://z15.invisionfree.com/Tattooed_Lyrikz/index.php?act=site

18 Re: Echo... on Sat Jan 15, 2011 9:15 pm

EBz Perradize

avatar
AWW! Thnk you girls! And yes...New page=New add! Smile There will be one on monday since there is no school! Razz afro

19 Re: Echo... on Sat Jan 15, 2011 10:31 pm

dezzy.baby1

avatar
awww....i cant wait that long!!!!!!!!!!
bounce bounce bounce bounce
i'll try!!
upsz


_________________

20 Re: Echo... on Sun Jan 16, 2011 8:00 pm

__eyeCandy

avatar
OMIGOSH!! THAT ADD WAS GREAT...!
CANT WAIT TILL THE NEXT ONE!
DEFINITELY A BUMP.!

21 Re: Echo... on Mon Jan 17, 2011 9:02 pm

kaylee


=D this story is amazing
cant wait for the add!!!!!!!!!!

22 Re: Echo... on Mon Jan 17, 2011 10:39 pm

heatRAE!

avatar
JUST caught up.
OMG THIS IS SOOOO INTENSE.
I love it!
BUMP BUMP BUMP girlllllll lmao
cant wait for the next add Smile

and im next in line yay! pig

23 Re: Echo... on Tue Jan 18, 2011 11:22 am

EBz Perradize

avatar
SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT BUT HERE IS ANOTHER ADD! ENJOII!! {BUMP?? or DUMP?? ladies}



I stood in the shadows of my apartment building, seeing things but not being seen. I walked into the light and posted up on the wall of the building that face the street before lighting up my smoke. A local crackhead named, Izzie, caming up to me, scratching and all and asked could she hit it. I shook my head and before she could start to beg I pulled up the side of my shirt revealing my hidden toy. She dropped her head and all but ran away from me. "Short me one, my boy," another dope head stated and all i did was shake my head and he got the hint.
I hated this shit! Couldn't a nigga walk out of the house to take a smoke without everyone asking to take a hit? Fucking mooching ass bums. "Last one," I spoke barely above a whisper to the fourth person to ask for a hit in less than five minutes. I was standing on the porch when one of my moms "regulars" walked up. I kept my head down and gave a small nod. I prayed that he wouldn't speak to me. "What you know good, Lil' Ray?" the old man stopped on the third step, looking directly at me.

Damn, did God even bother to answer my prayers anymore? I shook my head and puffed on my short trying not to make direct eye contact. "Where yo mama at?" He was so close that I could smell the liquor on his breath and clothes;I scrunched up my nose and nodded towards the open door. He glanced at me once more before staggering up the rest of the stairs to the building and closing the door with a loud bang.

I hated talking to these grimy niggas. I always just wanted them to be in and out as soon as possible with as little "pleasure" noises as possible. But like I said, God never bothered with my prayers anymore.

I finished off my cigarette and was about to step back into the house but thought better of it. I wasn't even up for the shit the was probably taking place at this moment. I had put my little brother, Parker , to sleep an hour ago so I decided to just take a walk. As I left my house, too many people were trying to stop me and have petty, just because conversations. I brushed most of them off and kept going. Some were more determined than others, like a dude that owned the daycare that I took my brother to,Latham{Lay-'Thum}. "What's good, Kiddo?" He yelled as he ran across the street to meet up with me. He had some young dude with him;we dapped each other off. "Same shit. mane. Same shit." He nodded in agreement. "This the nigga you was talking bout?" the young cat spoke while looking at me. "Ain't never seen this nigga befo'." Latham nodded his head. "Told you so." I kept on walking, hoping to lose these clowns.

"Aye, I told you bout my new bitch, right?" He was doing most of the talking as we headed down by the lake. I shook my head and took the black that he was offering me. "Yo, she real bad, bruh! Redbone too!" He was so hyped that I figured he must had already got the pussy. It never took him long. The young dude turned off on another road right before we got to the lake. I was glad;nosey ass bastard. Latham was steady talking but my mind was somewhere else until I saw something moving on one of the boardwalks. I put my arm out to stop Latham heavy footed ass from walking and putting a finger to my lips then pointing to a huge shadow. We tip-toed to a boat house that was on the other side and watched as a man kicked a dead body into the water.

Latham stared breathing hard as shit in my ear so I elbowed him in the stomach making him wince and shut up. I shook my head as the man said a quick prayer and jogged back to his truck, speeding off into the night. What kind of man kills someone, dumps the body, then prays? I knew that Latham half scary ass wouldn't anything so I stripped out of my coat, shirt, shoes and hat and ran towards the water, diving in head first. It wasn't hard to find the body. I dragged them upwards as fast as the cold water would let me and called for Latham to come help me. After we had gotten the body onto dry land I tried C.P.R. No one deserved to die this way. The person started coughing and I grabbed my phone out of my coat pocket to see just who the hell I had played "captain save a hoe" for. Shock registered on my face;Latham was quiet as hell.

"Damn, Nelle," I mumbled as I looked down at her bruised face and body. Snitches got stitches but this right here didn't look like any of Tae-Tae's work. I looked up at Latham and he had this weird look on his face. I stood up and tried to brush my jeans off while talking to him. "Mane, this shit is wild, bruh. I wonder who ole dude was?" Latham still just stood there with a shocked look on his face as I tried to wring my muscle shirt out. I dropped my hands quickly, realizing my mistake, and scrambled to get my shirt back on. I was hoping that he didn't say it, praying that I hadn't been so careless, but God never hears me speak.
"You a-a-a girl, bruh?" He stood there shaking his head, trying to register what he had just seen. I reached behind me and pulled my glock from the waist-band of my jeans. Fuck, I thought as I aimed the weapon at his chest. He had known me long enough to be considered a friend but I couldn't take any chances.

Just then, Jeanelle coughed like she was trying to cough up and lung, making me glance down. When I looked back up Latham was running in the opposite direction. I cursed and ran after him, still hearing Nelle's cough. I had problems of my own.

24 Re: Echo... on Tue Jan 18, 2011 12:57 pm

SexyT

avatar
danmmmmmm...
that's all i can say!!!
good add...didn't even know they thought she was a he!! lol
ADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD


_________________
Stories running
My Happy Ever After NEW
Love Mist

Coming Soon
Last Call

Will be revived
Underneath the Make-Up
Dark Secret

Thanks for all the support ladies!!
Please read and leave feedback!!






#ThanksJas

25 Re: Echo... on Tue Jan 18, 2011 4:18 pm

heatRAE!

avatar
THAT WAS AMAZING ADD MORE SOON!!!

Wow he thought I was a boy. lmao DAMNnnn I must be a thug FORREAL FORREAL!

wow nelle almost died. im glad she is ok now!

OMG this is soooooo intense add more soon

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