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Unexpected Writings » THE CREATIONS » Stories » Cancelled

Cancelled

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76 Re: Cancelled on Wed Jul 22, 2009 10:34 pm

dezzy.baby1

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man at first i thought she was doin the but with Darnell!!
Trap trippin reall hard...After that night he still gon say he not ready to be with her...
man thats bull!!!
Anyways...I loved the add

Bumps and Ups

77 Re: Cancelled on Wed Jul 22, 2009 10:34 pm

dezzy.baby1

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yep i got u a new page
cherry
lol!

78 Re: Cancelled on Wed Jul 22, 2009 10:38 pm

pureSEDUCTION

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Lol!!! Keep in mind that this Kianna-Trap thing has been going on for yearrrrrrs


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79 Re: Cancelled on Thu Jul 23, 2009 5:30 pm

golden07

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Admin
So what does trap have next on the agenda?


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80 Re: Cancelled on Thu Jul 23, 2009 10:42 pm

pureSEDUCTION

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Go check out my other story "Shattered."
Probably add tomorrow. But I'm working on adds for both so maybe one tonite and another tomorrow.


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81 Re: Cancelled on Thu Jul 23, 2009 10:57 pm

dezzy.baby1

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upin this one up
now goin read shattered


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82 Re: Cancelled on Fri Jul 24, 2009 8:49 pm

Vava

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Printing this out right now so that I can give you a review Forreal this time tomorrow. But, still update.

83 Re: Cancelled on Sat Jul 25, 2009 11:07 am

Vava

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Honestly, I feel lost. In the beginning I didn't know where they were && I was confused. There were a few parts missing. A lack of details. I felt like those paragraphs that you wrote were as if some one was talking. You ever see someone talk on and on and they have no point to their conversations? That's how I felt reading this. I think things were moving fast paste. It's good that you're writing in Novel form but could you please space out your work.


For example if someone new is talking start a new stanza:


"I love you." Kianna said to me.

"But, I don't love you . I mean I love you. But, I don't love you the way I love Lana." I told her.


Does that make any since now?

I love the banner && the title. The plot could be better. It needs a bit fixing up.


Please don't get mad at me. I'm just giving you some consrurctive criticisim. Helping you to get better.



-VAVA Smile

84 Re: Cancelled on Sat Jul 25, 2009 5:05 pm

pureSEDUCTION

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Vava wrote:Honestly, I feel lost. In the beginning I didn't know where they were && I was confused. There were a few parts missing. A lack of details. I felt like those paragraphs that you wrote were as if some one was talking. You ever see someone talk on and on and they have no point to their conversations? That's how I felt reading this. I think things were moving fast paste. It's good that you're writing in Novel form but could you please space out your work.


For example if someone new is talking start a new stanza:


"I love you." Kianna said to me.

"But, I don't love you . I mean I love you. But, I don't love you the way I love Lana." I told her.


Does that make any since now?

I love the banner && the title. The plot could be better. It needs a bit fixing up.


Please don't get mad at me. I'm just giving you some consrurctive criticisim. Helping you to get better.



-VAVA Smile

Oh, No!!! I'm not mad!! This is what I needed. People to give me advice on how to get better.


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85 Re: Cancelled on Mon Jul 27, 2009 12:36 pm

golden07

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Admin
Uppity Upz


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Stories by Me:
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]As always my compliments goes to Jas
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86 Re: Cancelled on Tue Jul 28, 2009 11:16 pm

heatRAE!

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upszzzz pig

87 Re: Cancelled on Fri Jul 31, 2009 12:26 pm

golden07

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Admin
Upz...add


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]As always my compliments goes to Jas
http://unexpected.heavenforum.com

88 Re: Cancelled on Fri Jul 31, 2009 1:29 pm

pureSEDUCTION

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I's is writing!!!!!!


It shall be here soon....maybe fifteen mins, maybe thirty, maybe an hour. BUT today FOR SURE.


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89 Re: Cancelled on Fri Jul 31, 2009 1:32 pm

Vava

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L I S A wrote:I's is writing!!!!!!


It shall be here soon....maybe fifteen mins, maybe thirty, maybe an hour. BUT today FOR SURE.

I am waiting for an add.
Oh, && I am Loving the siggy.

90 Re: Cancelled on Fri Jul 31, 2009 1:42 pm

pureSEDUCTION

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Lol. My best friend thinks I'm a little too ready for Ready. Cause he's the wall paper on the laptop and ringtone on the phone.


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91 Re: Cancelled on Fri Jul 31, 2009 2:56 pm

golden07

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Admin
Yay...lol...Can't wait


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Stories by Me:
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]As always my compliments goes to Jas
http://unexpected.heavenforum.com

92 Re: Cancelled on Fri Jul 31, 2009 2:56 pm

golden07

avatar
Admin
Dang plus u get a new page by ME Very Happy


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Stories by Me:
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]As always my compliments goes to Jas
http://unexpected.heavenforum.com

93 Re: Cancelled on Fri Jul 31, 2009 4:06 pm

heatRAE!

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upppsss add soon please me n piggy is dieing here lol we cant wait to much longer lol pig

94 Re: Cancelled on Fri Jul 31, 2009 4:36 pm

pureSEDUCTION

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Lol.

For piggy, I shall hurry.


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95 Re: Cancelled on Fri Jul 31, 2009 4:42 pm

heatRAE!

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YAAAAyyy

pig -Thanks cant wait


lol up
up
up
up

96 Re: Cancelled on Sat Aug 01, 2009 2:55 pm

Vava

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upz

97 Re: Cancelled on Sat Aug 01, 2009 3:38 pm

dezzy.baby1

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bumps


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98 Re: Cancelled on Sat Aug 01, 2009 10:09 pm

pureSEDUCTION

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I'm so sorry to do this to ya'll but Imma have to cancel this!!!!

The plot too closely resemebles something I've read and I just can't continue cause I feel like I'm biting them...

Sorry.


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99 Re: Cancelled on Sat Aug 01, 2009 10:17 pm

dezzy.baby1

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awww man!!!!


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100 Re: Cancelled on Mon Aug 17, 2009 12:44 pm

golden07

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Admin
Aww....well it was good while it lasted Sad


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Stories by Me:
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]As always my compliments goes to Jas
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