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Unexpected Writings » THE CREATIONS » Stories » && The Struggle . 011910

&& The Struggle . 011910

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1 && The Struggle . 011910 on Wed Dec 16, 2009 6:14 pm

Vava

avatar
&& The Struggle .


"Trust. Beauty. Friendship. && Love. "



Banner Coming Soon!





Pronounciation --

Struhg-uhl


Part of Speech --

Noun


Definition --

1. to contend with an adversary or opposing force.

2. to contend resolutely with a task, problem, etc.; strive: to struggle for existence.

Original Date StrugglesBegan; 111108
Original Date StruggledDied; 070309
Author; Vava


---



Last edited by Vava on Tue Jan 19, 2010 2:18 pm; edited 2 times in total

2 Re: && The Struggle . 011910 on Wed Dec 16, 2009 6:17 pm

Vava

avatar
Did her Wrong...
That was Then


If you walked in her shoes you'd know that she isn't happy. If you watched as she cried, run, felt abashed, held her head down you'd know the song that she'd sing time and time again everyday of her life. The song that she wants to give up but can't get just there because... she's always back to where she first started; abashed that is. The points, jokes, talked about, made front of... are all her ways of coming back to the beginning and singing that familiar song of hers.
Did her wrong...



Marcus's Flashback*

" I did you wrong, you did me wrong, I take you back, you take me back, I did you wrong, you did me wrong, I take you back, I'll take you back." A young Desiree McCall singed in the park alone on the parks bench. She sings her heart out as if she was put into the position or was in that position before. But, in reality she hasn't had a taste or touch to how that kind of situation feels.

You see little Miss Desiree is sixteen years old; never once been asked or even gone on a date with anyone. Though, she often daydreamed over and over about being in that situation. But, it hasn't happened yet. She's never once been told that she was loved and she wished that special someone would see something in her and not about her weight.

"No matter what you do, no matter what you say, no matter how far you go. Don't take your love away, because I love..." Desiree singed.

From a far away distance young Marcus Livingston watched as Desiree singed. She was beautiful to him. She had a caramel complexion, long brown hair with a streak of black, rosy pink lips, and hazel eyes. She was a big girl who stood about 2 inches shorter than he was. But, she was beautiful.

It was just too bad she didn't see it in her. At school, everyone picked on her. They mostly picked on her because of her weight. But, they never acknowledged her beautiful face. Everyday I see her I'd see the same beautiful intelligent girl that's waiting for her prince charming to carry her bride style.

'I could be what she needs.'

But, in order for us to make it to that estate she has to be willing to change big time. I'm not talking about putting her head down, or running away from all the problems that involves her. I'm talking about her wanting to stick up for herself, trust me, and to see herself as beautiful. Because when I look at her I don't see a big bone girl. I see something beautiful and I want her to know just how I feel.

Just to make all the matters worst, meaning that the center of all her problems comes from her cousin, Latoya Samuels. Latoya Samuel's is Desiree’s cousin and she's popular and with her status she's the reason why Desiree has low- self esteem. Latoya teases Desiree about her weight more than anything, crack jokes, talk about her, and insult her, everything to do with putting Desiree down. All Desiree does when this happens is run, put her head down, or cry.

'I hate seeing you like this. It kills me to see you in pain suffering. When the time is right I'll be your prince and I'll make sure that everything is okay.' I said to myself.

"I ain't trying to waste your time, I ain't trying to waste my time, it ain't no need to waste no time cause we done put in to much time ain't trying to waste your time, I ain't trying to waste my time, it ain't no need to waste no time cause we done put in to much time, when you're in a relationship, cause the easiest thing for you to do is to leave. You gotta stick out, and a work it out, stick out and work it out, stick it our cause at the end of the day..."



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3 Re: && The Struggle . 011910 on Wed Dec 16, 2009 6:18 pm

Vava

avatar
Home For the Holidays...
This is Now

"You may have heard about me. But, what you've heard was not the full truth. I've told you half. But, not all. I've been through so much. I've hurt. Recuperated. Learned. Trusted. && here I am... That was and still is my Legacy. It is my job to teach you from my mistakes and from others. Being Home for the Holidays... "



A forty- nine year old Desiree McCall- Livingston sits down on her five year old couch that she had just bought only five years ago. She came from the kitchen only minutes ago rejuvenating snacks and drinks for her family who were all here for the holiday. She looked over to her still handsome husband Marcus Livingston, he looked into her eyes and they both smiled.

He meant a lot to her, and she meant a lot to him too. He was her best friend, her lover, father of her 3 children, and her husband. He'd helped her recuperate during the years of all her pain. After she had all the confidence that she needed to move on and enjoy life she married him and they welcomed their three beautiful children into the world; Alyssa, Marcus Jr., and Kiara.

The grandchildren watched as their grandparent’s goggled- eyed each other. So, Kiara asks; "Mom you never told us how you and dad met." Marcus and I both looked at each other. It's not like she was looking for answer in his eyes but she just did it anyways.

"Um, sweetheart I better not." she said as all the children went Awe man, whined, and complained.

"And why not sweetheart?" Marcus asked his wife. She looked into his eyes waiting for her answer.

"I don't know... I just thought that it would be best not to tell them." I said.

"Baby, please." Marcus said. "These children want to hear about it we're going to tell them. And beside you never know when they'll have an assignment about us." he finished stating looking into her eyes once again for her to cooperate with him.

She finally succumbed and said, "Alright." Everyone jumped up, and cheered. "Only if you tell some of the story with me."

"Okay." Marcus said with a smile. My baby still got it. Those dimples are still there after all those years we've been together. Hopefully they'll still be there when he's Sixty-nine. It's not only the dimples that has me going crazy still after all them great years, its our chemistry, the love, courage, humbleness, and the great sex escapades that has me crazy for him. He is a really great man.

I hadn't hoped to revisit those past memories that I came over all those years ago. But, this was for my family so I had to tell them. Sure, it was embarrassing. But, I'll have respect, and love from my family; but it'll be a lesson to the little young one's how to handle the situation and not to ever be so weak.



---



4 Re: && The Struggle . 011910 on Wed Dec 16, 2009 6:20 pm

Vava

avatar
Little Facts...
Still, this is Now


"You may have heard about me. But, what you've heard was not the full truth. I've told you half. But, not all. I've been through so much. I've hurt. Recuperated. Learned. Trusted. && here I am... That was and still is my Legacy. It is my job to teach you from my mistakes and from others. Being Home for the Holidays... "



Marcus sat up and began told tell the story to the young ones, "Well, I and your grandmother hadn't always spoken to each other." he said starting off.

"You hadn't." Marcus the 3rd asked his grandfather.

"Uh, huh." Marcus said. "We'd always said little words like, 'Hi, hello, how are you doing? And I have to go'. That was all. It wasn't anything major. I'd always wanted to say more but never said them. There were some days that I didn't talk to her I'd wave at her or gave her a warm smile."

The little kids nodded their heads to let their grandfather know that they were all ear and that they wanted to hear more little facts before hearing the rest of the story. Continuing with the little facts Marcus said, "We've met when we were in middle school, in the seventh grade. I had just moved into the city and I was new at the school. She was so nice and so pretty." he said, looking over at his still beautiful wife. "But, I could never get out of her four words until we've reached high school."

"We've never touched; hugged, shook hands, or anything. I never knew why. But, it all changed when we started talking to each other." he continued saying.

Desiree cut in and said, "I had the biggest crush on him back then; especially when I was in the ninth grade. But, all the feelings had flushed away when I found he had a girlfriend named Lauren Dillard's. She was beautiful and I couldn't be compared to her so I stopped crushing and went on to face my fears."

"Des, was always nervous whenever she was around me for some reason. I knew she had a crush on me but I'd never said anything. I wasn't afraid to confront her about it or to prove it to my friends that I really liked her. I was just waiting for that time when your grandmother really felt sad to talk to her." Marcus cut in.

"It was funny but sad when she found out that I had a crush on her. She didn’t want to have anything to do with me. So, I had to prove to her that I Marcus Livingston Sr. was not going anywhere…”



---

5 Re: && The Struggle . 011910 on Wed Dec 16, 2009 6:21 pm

Vava

avatar
Sunshine or not...
That was Then


"The sun is up and it irradianted the city, In some quite areas it poured and minds wondered will it stay like this for the remainder of the day? In other minds people wondered about there lives... was it going to be like the weather? Happy and shiny. Or was it going to be just like the gray dark clouds in the sky? Sunshine or not..."



It was just another typical day in Miami, FL and at Springford High; the sun shined so bright giving us exhaustions, heat strokes, and thirst. I Marcus Livingston walked the halls to walk over to my locker; I turned the little metal thing unlocking my locker, 22-8-30. "Clink" , and the locker opens. I grabbed all the necessities and headed towards my next class.

On my way to walk to English I crashed into someone. I mean I know I was walking a bit kind of fast, but not that damn fast. The girl’s book fell to the ground, and she bent down to pick them up. I bent down too helping her pick up her books. It was her, Desiree.

I smiled when I noticed that it was her. She did the same but trying not to blush; which made me smile even harder. "I'm sorry about that." I said to her. She gripped her books to her chest tightly, looked around the hallway to see if anyone had stop to see what happened.

"It's okay. But, I should be the one to be saying sorry. I was walking too fast." she said and I nodded in agreement. We were both sorry. We were both trying to get to class on time, both speed walking, and we were both sorry. "I should probably get to class now." she said.

The bell rung letting us know that we were both late to our next class. I nodded my head and said, "Yeah." She started walking the direction I just left and I watched her slowly disappeared. Today she had on jeans and a blue shirt to match; her hair was up in a bun.

I walked towards my destinations and while walking I thought about what had happened minutes ago. She was shy, sweet, and yet so innocent. While talking to me she couldn't even look up to look at me. She kept her head in the same position, to the ground, as if she was talking to it instead of me.

Once opening Mr. Boulevard's English classroom three minutes late, all it took was one step in to be recognized. I knew I was in for it. Rule number one in dude's class, Never be late. If you’re late Mr. Boulevard will make the rest of the period a living hell for you.

"Ahh, Mr. Livingston, I see you chose to be late today." he said. "Do you care to explain to us why you are late?" he asked me.

"No." I said. I quickly headed towards my seat as everyone eyes followed me. I sat down as I looked towards his direction. He wasn't near finishing with me yet.

"Mr. Livingston, did I tell you you can sit?" Mr. Boulevard asked me. The class turned their heads to look what he had to say to back to me when he finished.

“No." I said and shrugged my shoulders. The man nodded his head and walked over towards my desk. His face was inches away from mines and I could smell what he ate for breakfast, fish and grits.

Eww...

"Since you took it upon yourself to show up late and to sit down like nothing just happened, you have detention. Will you be showing up early or not tomorrow morning at 6:30, because I need to know?"

I gave the man a scowl and said; "Whatever man I'll be here." he backed away from my face and went on to began the day's lesson.



---

6 Re: && The Struggle . 011910 on Wed Dec 16, 2009 6:23 pm

Vava

avatar
Sunshine or not...
That was Then


"The sun is up and it irradianted the city, In some quite areas it poured and minds wondered will it stay like this for the remainder of the day? In other minds people wondered about there lives... was it going to be like the weather? Happy and shiny. Or was it going to be just like the gray dark clouds in the sky? Sunshine or not..."



She had just finished her assignment and turned it in for a grade, and now she sat thinking about what had happened in the hall only fifty-seven minutes ago. She had bumped into her old crush but will always be a crush in some kind of way Marcus Livingston; he was smart, athletic, sweet, handsome, and intelligent. He was in some kind of mediocre thing with the jocks and yet the nerdy kids.

He was quiet at times but most of the times cracked jokes. But, he'd never cracked jokes about her. She wondered sometimes why he'd never cracked on her all those years they've known each other. She wasn't much to look at but he'd continued to be nice and had a yet warm smile on his face every time they saw each other.

She smiled at the thought of them bumping into each other and snapped out of her thoughts. When she opened her eyes she faced some of her classmates looking into her direction. Her cousin Latoya said, "It's finally good to see that hippopotamus is awake from her leave." The whole class busted out laughing, pointing, and adding more jokes to the embarrassing moment.

Feeling so abashed, I put my head down and effused a couple of tears. Just then the bell rang. With an agile ness I got up, packed my bags, and ran out of the class. Pushing, and shoving into the crowd to go to the wash room I did; I'd hear ominous words, and watch where I was going from behind, but I continued to push and shove through the crowd.

Finally, making it to the wash room, I entered one of the stalls, locking it behind me. I sat in the stall effusing my eyes until I couldn't cry no more. I hated being like this, big. I've been like this all my life and all I've gotten was mean remarks, joked at, and being pointed at. I've tried to lose the weight but I just can't do it. Even my parents disowned me, because of my weight. They treat me like dirt, like I'm not even there. If I'd died they wouldn't even know that I was gone. I bet they wouldn't even care.

After, descanting all of the tears, she unlocked her stall, washed her face and dried her face. Feeling a lot better she walked out of the girl’s bathroom, heading to the cafeteria for lunch. She declared to herself that she was going to be brave and not let anyone get to her for the rest of the day. With that saying she walked over to the lunch line to see only three students including her were only in line.

Since our school was so open and we could sign ourselves out only for lunch, most students decided to eat out. Some went to McDonald's, Burger King, or even the Joint; they were all about five minutes away from the school.

Finally, reaching the front of the line I stood in front of the lunch lady, Sims with my tray; meat loaf, mash potato, bread with butter, and a milk box carton. She said, “Your total is $3.00.” I dug into my pants pockets, counted the loose change in my hands, and handed it over to her.

I left the line heading over eager to find a nice table to sit. Hopefully, with some nice people who wanted to sit with me. I walked over to a table that only had a few students and sat my tray down on the table. The girl that I sat my tray in front of looked up with eyes that told me, that I had better not sit there. With her wishes I picked up my tray and looked for another table to sit at. ‘Maybe I’d better sit alone.’ I said to myself.

Walking over to a filthy table with dirty lunch bags, and half eaten food on the table I sat pushing them away from me. With my eyes wandering around the room my eyes landed on Marcus. He was sitting with a couple of his friends who I didn’t care much about; laughing and talking.

He looked my way as if he mentally felt me watching him. He gave me one of those warm smiles he always gave me and turned his attention back to his friends. I looked down at the bubbling meatloaf that sat in front of me. It wasn’t all that great. But, it was all I could afford. I said a quick prayer asking God to give me strength, and courage, and started eating my food.

I looked up once again from my half eaten lunch and saw that the popular table including my cousin in it, pointing, and laughing at me. “Oh, great. Can this day get any better?” I looked back down at the half eaten food and decided to take one more bite. A few minutes later the bell rung. I quickly got up opened the carton milk, drunk it and was about to through it away when I crashed into somebody’s chest.

I said to the person with out me looking up, “I am soo-oo sorry.” I looked up to see that it was Marcus; and get this dude was smiling. I looked at his dirty Sean John’s shirt and saw that I’d messed up the white shirt. I looked over at the dirty table that I’d sat at and saw a napkin package that hadn’t been opened or used and opened it.

“It’s okay.” He said with a smile looking at the dirty spot on his shirt. After, trying to open the packet for like eight seconds I finally got it out and started to help by cleaning his shirt, but still entreating him to forgive me for the umpteenth time of the day. “It’s really okay.” He said taking the napkin away from my hands.

His friends who stood back watching what happened hadn’t said a word, and now Chad finally said something, “Hell, no it ain’t okay. Klutzilla watch where you are going next time.” He finished saying and the rest of the crew busted out laughing and followed him out of the cafeteria. Feeling abashed once again but not all the way I put my head down and was almost in tears.

Marcus saw that I was about to cry he lifted my head up by lifting my chin, and a lone tear slid down my cheek and another came. “Don’t listen to him.” He said. I could not believe I was crying in front of him, and yet more tears came descanting down my cheeks, “It’s okay.” Marcus said and he found another clean napkin and helped me wipe my tears away.

'Why was this nice guy being so nice to me?’ I said to myself.

“Look, I’m not like them I’m way off…” he started but I cut him off.

“Marcus, you don’t have to do this.” I said. “I am a big girl I can take care of myself, you know.”

Marcus feeling hurt and shocked at her remark he said, “Didn’t look like it to me. You're over hear crying your eyes out.”

“So, what?” She said.

Silence

He nodded his head and said, “Alright.” He started for the exit of the cafeteria nonchalantly not wanting to leave her by herself he headed towards his next class, personal fitness, the last class of the day. There he would change into a clean white shirt, and black or blue Physical Education shorts.


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7 Re: && The Struggle . 011910 on Wed Dec 16, 2009 6:25 pm

Vava

avatar
Let's Walk...
That was Then


"Walking... holding hands... the stares... the smiles... the laughs... & the words that we shared. With each step held a meaning. A meaning that said, I like you... You're beautiful... have no fear... Trust me... Believe me... I'm you're prince... && the most you're my bride. So, Let's take a Walk... "



I sat at my desk waiting for the bell to go home. I was in P.E class and I’d just changed from my shorts into my clothes that I came to school in only a few minutes ago. “Ding. Ding. Ding.” The schools bell rang letting us know that school was out and we needed to get the hell on out. I left Mrs. Young P.E class and headed out of the class to the main school to go to my locker, there I would take a few books home and take my journal home.

I headed out of the school minutes later with my bag on my shoulder and was about to make my way when I spotted Marcus. He looked my way, and he looked like he was about to come my way. But, he was stopped by a friend. “Yo, Marcus, where are you going?” asked Sean another one of his friends.

“I’m heading home.” He said.

“I thought you needed a ride.”

“Yeah. I did, but I think I’ll walk instead.” Marcus said and started to cross the street. But, I was long gone because I’d crossed and turned the corner.

Across the street Sean asked another question, “I’ll see you at practice later, right?” Marcus nodded his head and kept walking he had to find her. He was sure that she wouldn’t be too far from him. He turned the corner and hoped to find her walking slow, alone as always. But, she wasn’t there. “Damn.” He muttered under his breath.

He continued to walk but his paste was slow. He turned the corner to see that she was about to turn yet to another corner. He smiled and his once cool walk turned into a jog. He jogged towards her and slowed down when she turned around to see that he was behind her. She slowed down her walking and he caught his breathe and asked, “Can I walk you home?”

She shrugged her shoulders, “Sure, but, it’s really like walking yourself home.” She was right. But, I was not walking by myself, and it was indeed the fact I was walking with someone I truly loved. I only lived across the street from her but we’ve never sat out on the porch and hung out or anything.

I nodded my head walked along side her and admired the surroundings we were in. It was beautiful. Even though the school was in the high class area I never missed its beauty. I hoped someday to become some photographer, but, my pops keeps bugging me and wants me to become an NFL player. Shoot everyone wants me to make it.

I know I’m agile and I’m one of those great players and can make it. But, that’s not where my heart is. Everyone’s heart but mines are set on that pay check that I’ll have to share with them. Little then they knew that I’d only do it for fun but the heart will always be with photography.

“It’s nice out here, isn’t it?” I asked her. She was looking ahead turned her head to look around our surroundings and she smiled. ‘Darned it’ this is one of those moments were I wished I had my camera. She nodded her head.

“Yeah… it is.” She said.

I smiled taking in her answer, “I sometimes like to walk home after practice and just admire this area.” Around us was beautiful big houses, beautiful front yards with beautiful front views of the flowers that are planted; and just a few minutes away there was a small little park. There were swings, benches, jungle gyms, and all the other things in the play ground area.

Sometimes I’d take pictures of the people, the kids, or even just the area. It fascinated me. I looked at her while turned yet another corner, her head was looking at the ground again. I couldn’t help but to ask, “Why is it that every time that I say or when I’m around you always looks away or look down.”

She shrugged. I knew I wouldn’t get an answer just a, “I don’t know. It just happens.” We continued walking. I loved walking with her; it was slow, yet calming. I wanted to hold her hands, had her head looking up at the surroundings we walked, and yet have her smile. She was soo-oo beautiful.

We crossed the street in silence looking both ways before crossing. I wanted to say more to her. But, what was there to ask about? ‘Why don’t you become my girlfriend?’ No, that’ll be too early; but I still didn’t want to wait too late until something did happen. So what about this, “Hey, you want to come over?”

She shook her head back and fourth letting me know that she couldn’t come over, “Can’t come over, sorry.” She said looking down again as we walked. I looked away from her looking ahead depressed. I wanted her to come over before I went to practice. I was hoping she’d say yes because I really wanted to show her something. Then we could have done our homework together.

But, it’s a turn down. I’d be doing homework alone, and eating refreshments in my room, alone. She’d never once been inside of my house. Well, technically yeah. When I first moved in her parents came over to meet and welcome us into the neighbor hood. I learned her name fast and could see hurt in her eyes. She came in sat in the living room with her parents and I that was it. Never departed to visit and see the rest of the house.

I’ve never been to her house but had wished time and time again that one day I’d be able to come over and just chilled with her. I’m sure her parents hate me and all just like they hate my parents. But, it didn’t matter to me. With our house finally coming to view we slowed our steps as I said, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah.” She said with a smile and quickly turned away. I guess she didn’t want me to see that she was actually smiling. ‘Yeah, she liked me.’ I mean who wouldn’t? I smiled at her lifted her chin so that she would realize that I’d just smiled at her. I didn’t want her to think of me as just a friend or me using her, because that wasn’t the case at all I was trying to send to her. Well, yeah the friend part. But, I wanted her to know that I liked her, and there was no need to be scared.

“Bye, and I'm sorry for how I acted earlier." I said walking over to my side of the side walk in front of my house and turned back around and she mouthed 'It's okay.' I continued walking but didn’t get in as I watched her walk towards her house door, opened it, got in and waved at me. ‘Everything is going to be alright, just alright.’ I opened my house door unlocked it and got inside. In about three more hours I’d be heading off to practice; then I’d need that ride that I ditched earlier.



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8 Re: && The Struggle . 011910 on Wed Dec 16, 2009 6:28 pm

Vava

avatar
This is where you all left off...



Dear Diary...
That was Then



"He walked me home. We didn't hold hands. We didn't hold a long conversation on the way. But, we did walk together. Turned the corner. Crossed the street. Said Goodbye. He ran to catch up to me. He looked at me. He admired the surroundings. He smiled at me. He asked me to come over. He held up my chin. He said goodbye first. He waited for me to get in my house. And all I could do was look down at the ground. Talk to the ground. Slow down my pace. Respond to his question. Turned down his offer. Admired late. Thought he was cute. Wished to come over. Say goodbye last. Wave goodbye. Wish again. And get in the house. && he watched Dear Diary... "



I opened the house door to find an empty house. It wasn’t like I was expecting anyone to be home because I wasn’t. My parents were never home and when they were they’d never say a word to me. They’d just ignored me and acted as if I never existed. I’d wished to have a family that was on the television show; had an older or younger sister or brother, had parents who cared for me, a mom who’d cook dinner for the family, and a dad who’d talk to me about boys. But, no I don’t have any of that.

I ascended the stairs up to my room and dropped my back pack on the bed, headed for my drawer to get fresh new pair of undergarments, and house clothes. I headed to the bathroom and washed the salty dried sweat off of me. Once, feeling refreshed and cool I came out and started Ne-Yo’s Latest song, Miss Independent. “Ooh, is somethin’ about, just somethin’ about the way she move, I can’t figure it out, is somethin’ about her, somethin’ about, kinda woman that want you but don’t need you, I can’t figure it out, Is something’ about her.”

She dried the last wet spot of her body and put lotion on her body and went into the hook of the song, “Cause she walk like a boss, talk like a boss, manicure nails just sent the pedicure off, she’s fly effortlessly, an she move like a boss, do what a boss…” Putting on her undergarments she stopped singing and thought of the day’s events. It was horrible, with all of the teasing, points, jokes, etc. The only great thing about her day she loved was walking home with Marcus. That was all.

She headed out of her bathroom and headed to her room. After entering her room she walked over to her black jamsport book bag and took out her black and white composition Diary book. She’d love one day to own a better looking diary, but for now she was stuck with this. She opened to the first page and saw the date of September 4th, which was the first day of school for this year. It was horrible just like everyday I went to school. She turned and skipped half of the journal entries that she had passed and was greeted by a fresh new page that hadn’t been written in yet.

She wrote, January 14th on the top of the page and thought of away to begin writing about her day. She started with her cousin, and ended with Marcus. Then she went on to grab another composition book but only this time it wasn’t a diary. It was a poem book. She enjoyed writing poetry but not as often as she liked it. She was thinking about joining the schools poetry club called, ‘Expression’.

She started writing just anything to get her mind out of the depression that she was feeling. She wasn’t one those girls that were so depressed and wanted to kill herself. Not by any chance. She was way too far from doing that. If she thought killing herself would be a great idea think of it now she’ll be in another hell, which will be way worse than what she was experiencing.

She re-read her poem entry that she’d just written and slowly closing the book and put it in its corrected place, and walked back towards her bed and started doing her English homework while she singed the second verse of the song she sung earlier, “There's somethin' about, kinda woman that can do for herself, I look at her and it makes me proud, there's somethin' about her, somethin', so sexy about, kinda woman that don't even need my help, she said she got it, she got it, no doubt, there's something about her.” ‘Yeah. Right.'


---

9 Re: && The Struggle . 011910 on Wed Dec 16, 2009 6:39 pm

Vava

avatar
Dear Diary...
That was Then


"He walked me home. We didn't hold hands. We didn't hold a long conversation on the way. But, we did walk together. Turned the corner. Crossed the street. Said Goodbye. He ran to catch up to me. He looked at me. He admired the surroundings. He smiled at me. He asked me to come over. He held up my chin. He said goodbye first. He waited for me to get in my house. And all I could do was look down at the ground. Talk to the ground. Slow down my pace. Respond to his question. Turned down his offer. Admired late. Thought he was cute. Wished to come over. Say goodbye last. Wave goodbye. Wish again. And get in the house. && he watched Dear Diary... "



I had just waved goodbye and waited for Desiree to enter house when I’d unlocked the locks of the house and entered my own home I was greeted by mother. My mother was one of those housewives that had those little tea parties, and book clubs, & etc. She’s never worked one day in her life all thanks to my grandparents and my father. But, my father was a lawyer, a divorce lawyer to be exact. He would’ve done something more constructive in the field like business, and injuries. But, he said those were too much work and they were boring; but people who are divorcing are interesting and funny.

“Hi.” My mother greeted me as I walked over to her. I hugged and gave a kiss on her cheeks and started for the stairs. I loved my peoples don’t get me wrong but I hated spending time with them they were always expecting something of me.

“Hey, mom.” I said still ascending the stairs. Halfway through ascending the stairs she asked me how was school, “It was good.” I turned around to see she had a concern look on her face. Oh, lord she has something on her mind and are trying to make up her mind if she tell or ask me. “What is it mom?” I asked wanting to know.

She sighed, “I saw you and that girl Destiny—whatever her name is in front of her house. What’s that all about?” I rolled my eyes. She was one of them. She despised fat people, never knew why but she did. “Young man don’t you roll your eyes at me. Now, answer the question.” She said waiting to hear what I had to say about it.

“It was nothing mom.” I started. “We were leaving the same school and we were going the same way so I just asked her if I could walk with her.” I simply confessed. She stared at me as if she didn’t believe me. What was so hard that she couldn’t understand?

“If it was nothing then…then why did you lift up her chin.” She asked me wanting to know if I liked her or not.

“Mom, you need to find a hobby, so that you can stop spying on me. Yeah, I lifted her head but we didn’t kiss. So, what? And her name is Desiree not Destiny.” I said turning around and continued ascending the stairs to go to my room. While walking she told me not to walk with her ever again. Was I going to listen to that foolish shenanigan that my material mother said? No, I was going to do me. Not anybody else.

I walked into my room and sat on my bed, kicked off my shoes and my back pack and laid on my back. I shook my head at my mothers spying and words. Then, I turned my head to the side to see a book on my desk. I got up and walked over to my computer desk, picked up the book and smiled. It was one of my photography projects; Desiree. I had made a photography book of Desiree.

I know you wondering how in the world I could have taken pictures of Desiree if I didn’t hang around her that much. Well, the answer is simple, once in the while if I’m walking home sometimes I see her I take pictures, or from my bedroom window I’d take pictures of her outside. Sometimes at school when I was alone and I’d seen her and I liked the view of her I’d take pictures. Yeah, smart, right? I turned a couple of pages and smiled even more of the pictures I’ve taken over the past couple of years that I’ve met her.


---

Author's Note:

Okay, here's the rules:
I don't accept anything less than an upz or 1-liners.
Those just simply tells me that I wasted my time posting it up.
So take the time and leave a reivew.
I took the time to write and post it up on here...
the least you could do is drop four lines down on here for me.

Note: I love Reviews. I hate 1-liners and Upz&&bumps&& all the other crap.

I expect&&accept real reviews.

They consist of:
Questions, Constructive Criticisms, Predictions, && what you thought about the add.
Nothing else. No negative comments unless it's about a character in the story.

Note: Sometimes I like to have a little thing I call an Q&&A.
It's where you ask questions and I answer them.
I won't do it for every add. It's when I have the time.

Thank You for supporting this story under the cirmstances.

- Vava

10 Re: && The Struggle . 011910 on Wed Dec 16, 2009 8:37 pm

kaylee


love the story!! add very soon!!
bumps

11 Re: && The Struggle . 011910 on Thu Dec 17, 2009 4:32 pm

golden07

avatar
Admin
Lol...Wow kind of creepy
with the snapshots but its cute

Desiree is a sweetheart and a loner
I like that about her because she seems
so mysterious

Marcus is just sweet, I'm glad he had his eyes set out for her.
Now I'm waiting on the actual encounter Very Happy UPZ...ADD MORE...


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12 Re: && The Struggle . 011910 on Fri Dec 18, 2009 5:38 am

TheBee

avatar
I love how thwe story is going.
I love a mystery as well. Therefore I love the characteristics that Desiree has.
This story is going on my most watched stories in my favorites!!! lol
please add more.
Oh Marcus I love how he is pursuing a thick girl! and she is slightly running from it! love it love it love it
so far nothing negative! keep up the goood work.

please read my story bed thanks

13 Re: && The Struggle . 011910 on Wed Dec 23, 2009 7:00 pm

Vava

avatar
Her Poetry...
That was Then


"Okay. That's it for today." Kiara Moss spoke to the club named expression. She had just finished talking about tomorrow’s festivities and everyone’s bout’s during our school's Express Night tomorrow afternoon. Yeah, so you’ve got me there I signed up for the club like I’d wanted to do for the longest. Today is my second day though and I am glad that I decided to join. It didn’t make any sense if I sat home and thought about joining but then keep procrastinating against it. Now it made so much sense by just joining.

One by one each member left after saying their goodbyes and walking the halls telling others where they were going for the night. I turned my direction to the leader as you know Kiara, “I am so glad that you’ve decided to join.” I smiled and nodded my head. I was too. We walked out of the poetry room that was assigned to the club and walked towards the front of the school. She asked me if I was doing anything for Sunday said she’d be glad if we went out to the mall together. I said, I’d think about it.

I’d never had a friend before, and have never gone out with anyone to any place before other then my parents. I started for my way home by crossing the street. Then, I’d remembered what Marcus said about the surroundings that I was walking in now. He was right; I’d never realized how beautiful it was. Then, I thought of how he and I haven’t said seen nor said a word to each other in at least three days.

Just as I was thinking about him I’d stopped at the stop light and turned around to hear somebody running and panting. It was him, Marcus. I smiled and he smiled too. There was no use in hiding my smile, didn’t know why. Maybe it was because I was so happy that I’d join a club and I’d enjoyed it that I’d forgotten how shy I was around him. “Hi.” I said.

“Hey. Is it okay, if I walk with you?” I told him, I was fine with it, of course. I was too happy to turn him down for any reason. “I haven’t seen you in a couple of days.” My smile reappeared on my face. So, he cared that we haven’t been seeing each other, hmm.

“Yeah, I’ve been busy, really busy…” I said trailing off. We turned a corner and kept walking. He was looking good in his black and grey basketball shorts and his under t-shirt that showed off his arms muscle; and I could tell that he had a six pack because the shirt was a little wet from the practices sweat.

“I’ve got a game tomorrow and I’ve got an extra ticket. You want to come.” He asked me looking at me and I asked him what time was it. “Six.” Oh, man. That was the time poetry night started. I turned around my head from his brownish hazel eyes and held my attention to the walk ahead.

“I’m sorry, I can’t make it.” He nodded his head in disappointment, once again and said that he would still give them to me just in case I’d changed my mind in stopping by. Then, he went on to asking me what I’ve been up to in my absence in seeing him, “Um, I’d signed up in being a now member of the club Expression." He was pleased at what I said and asked if I wrote poetry. "Yes, of course. If I didn’t I wouldn’t have joined the club."

We both laughed at the joke but I could tell that he was embarrassed and he asked me, “Have you ever written anything about me?” I nodded my head and thinking about how many times I’ve written about a poetry piece about him. If I stood corrected as I think I might’ve wrote about two- three pieces. He shook his head and a smile slipped and released a smile. Wanting to change the subject he asked me, “How long is the poetry night?”

“Um, until eight, eight- thirtyish.” He nodded his head and said that he might come through when the game was done. He asked me another question, would I ever perform a piece at least for him. I laughed but not too much. I didn’t want to scare him. I mean I was I was just now warming up to him. “It depends.” He smiled and we both looked at each other. I bit my bottom lip and turned away and saw that once again our houses came to view, 4445 and 4450. Only this time we were walking in with the sunset.

We stopped at the front of my house again and he’d beat me to the, “Goodbye.” Part once again. We both smiled and I bit again at my bottom lip. That was becoming my new habit for this afternoon; biting my lips. I so-oo wanted to kiss his lips but knew that I wouldn’t feel right afterwards cause the truth of the matter is I’ve never once kissed a guy. I looked at the ground rejuvenating to old habits.


---

14 Re: && The Struggle . 011910 on Wed Dec 23, 2009 7:01 pm

Vava

avatar
Her Poetry...
That was Then



He walked inside of his house after doing what he did for the second time walking home with Desiree, watches her wave goodbye and entered her home. I wondered sometimes if she ever were happy at home. But, I was cut short of my thoughts of her from my mother. “You walked home with her again didn’t you?”

I rolled my eyes at my mother and continued walking towards my room. I really didn’t feel like dealing with her right now. I didn’t need it considering I and the team had gotten yelled at on the field from our coach letting us know that we could do well and we were the best, and we weren’t going to stop until we won the championship. And now for her to come at me with her nonsense was not going to make my list for the continuation.

“Young man don’t you roll your eyes at me and walk away while I’m talking to you.” she said. I stopped from where I was and tried not to do anything stupid for the moment. “Why were you walking with Destiny again?” I sighed. Why was it so damn hard to learn the name Desiree? It was so easy to remember.

I wanted to shrug and not answer her but I couldn’t. One more moment with me acting out I would be grounded and I would not be playing on the field tomorrow. “She and I were both heading this way, so I asked if I could walk with her. And beside I didn’t want to walk alone.”

“So, basically you disobeyed me again, when I specifically told you not to walk with her or talk to her.” Boy did she push my buttons at the moment. To no disrespect but I wanted to reach out take her by her head and just banged her head against the walls around us. I was finally breaking through to Desiree and here this Barbie was talking about I disobeyed her. I’m following my heart, just like she did when she was once young.

I said yes. When she noticed the way I had said that with so much pride confidence and that I wasn’t about to back down, she bought out the big boss. It was just how she always got her ways with me. She’d called up her husband, my father, Daniel Livingston. She explained what occurred in the last couple of days and he was as furious as she was.

He wasn’t agreeing with my mother. He was too smart to fall in her state of category. He wasn’t a racist or against big people at all whatsoever. He was just too strung out on what everyone was on, only that he was the ring leader. He wanted me on that field playing pro football and making good money at it.

That meant in order for me to make it all the way and succeed, I had to give up the ladies. Yep, always been his number one rule. Ladies gone, working hard and then came succeeding. There was nothing more for the moment. “How, could you disobey your mother?” he charged at me.

“We were only just walking home together. It wasn’t like we were kissing or anything.” I said to them. He went off on me again giving me the girl speech telling me to stay away from them and her focus on the ball and not on them. Me wanting to go desperately upstairs to get out of these sweaty and now sticky clothing on my body, I ignored the intense speech but answered to every right moment.

When he finished boy was I happy but not too much. He grounded me up until my next game which would be next Friday. He told me that I was to go to school only and come home straight. The only place I was to go to was school, church, practice, and a game. That was it. He also, said that mom was going to bring me to every meet and pick me up afterwards, and not to speak to any female other than an administrative from the school, church, or from the family. Isn’t that some B.S?


---

15 Re: && The Struggle . 011910 on Wed Dec 23, 2009 7:04 pm

Vava

avatar
Mom && Poetry…
This is Now


“Mom, you’ve never told us that you wrote poetry.” Alyssa said unto me. I sighed heavily as her and her siblings went on to complain and agree with her. I knew this would happen one day if I’d never told them what was my surprise gift; besides the whole singing thing. “Yeah, mom.”

“Never…”

“How come?" They all chimed in. I quieted them down; they were starting to get the children into the whole poetry thing. They all stopped as I quieted them down. They all looked at me waiting for my excuse.

“I don’t know… why I haven’t shared with you all about the poetry. But, I do have to admit that it was time for me to give up the journal and be happy.” I said confessing to them.

“But, mom you still should’ve told us about the poetry when we were growing up. You know how crazy I am about a good poem and poet.” Kiara said. She was beautiful. And every time I look into her eyes I see me but a different version and I think to see my best friend Kiara. In fact, her godmother is Kiara Moss- Frederick.

A light smile sneaked its way of the corners of my mouth of the thought of my old still best friend. “If we go down to the den, I think we can still find one of my old poetry books.” All the little children faces lit up and the adults. Without a word they all paraded their way to the den. All you could here is running, footsteps, stomps, and noise.

I looked at my husband to still find him sitting besides me, we were both in shocked at the sudden move. I mean I didn’t think they’d react like this but, they did. He smiled at me got up and helped me get up from the couch. Hand and hand we both walked down the stairs towards the den. When we reached the bottom of the stairs I’d see everyone digging, and looking for the books.

After about five minutes of looking for at least two or one of the poetry books we came up with my last book that I’ve written my last entries. “I think I found it.” Marcus Jr. said. Everyone looked up from what they were perusing through and came running over to where Marcus Jr. was.

I walked over to where they were and I smiled. It was an old composition book, it was dusty, and had a couple of spider webs when I turned the pages. But, the ink hadn’t been erased, or has been wet. Alyssa said, “Mom, why don’t you read something to us.”

“Well, alright…”


---

Ya'll know the rules.

Reviews; CC, Comments, Questions, && Predictions.


16 Re: && The Struggle . 011910 on Sun Dec 27, 2009 12:38 am

golden07

avatar
Admin
Those adds were awesome...
so wat the poem is about
that she is going to read,
is it about Marcus...i couldnt stand his parents
they too controlling...

add soon please wanna kno more


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Stories by Me:
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]As always my compliments goes to Jas
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17 Re: && The Struggle . 011910 on Sun Dec 27, 2009 12:41 am

golden07

avatar
Admin
yay new page cheers


_________________


Stories by Me:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
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[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]


]As always my compliments goes to Jas
http://unexpected.heavenforum.com

18 Re: && The Struggle . 011910 on Tue Dec 29, 2009 12:54 pm

TheBee

avatar
i liked those adds... i havent been reading like im supposed to.

i wonder what kind of poetry she has inside of those books.
did marcus read these books yet?
will they make a book together? with marcus' pictures and her poems that would be cool!!

lol loved it!

19 Re: && The Struggle . 011910 on Tue Jan 19, 2010 8:39 am

TheBee

avatar
why isn't there any more posts? omg please dont tell me you are giving up on such a good story!!

20 Re: && The Struggle . 011910 on Tue Jan 19, 2010 2:20 pm

Vava

avatar


Mom && Poetry…

This is Now


“Mom, you’ve never told us that you wrote poetry.” Alyssa said unto me. I sighed heavily as her and her siblings went on to complain and agree with her. I knew this would happen one day if I’d never told them what was my surprise gift; besides the whole singing thing. “Yeah, mom.”

“Never…”

“How come?" They all chimed in. I quieted them down; they were starting to get the children into the whole poetry thing. They all stopped as I quieted them down. They all looked at me waiting for my excuse.

“I don’t know… why I haven’t shared with you all about the poetry. But, I do have to admit that it was time for me to give up the journal and be happy.” I said confessing to them.

“But, mom you still should’ve told us about the poetry when we were growing up. You know how crazy I am about a good poem and poet.” Kiara said. She was beautiful. And every time I look into her eyes I see me but a different version and I think to see my best friend Kiara. In fact, her godmother is Kiara Moss- Frederick.

A light smile sneaked its way of the corners of my mouth of the thought of my old still best friend. “If we go down to the den, I think we can still find one of my old poetry books.” All the little children faces lit up and the adults. Without a word they all paraded their way to the den. All you could here is running, footsteps, stomps, and noise.

I looked at my husband to still find him sitting besides me, we were both in shocked at the sudden move. I mean I didn’t think they’d react like this but, they did. He smiled at me got up and helped me get up from the couch. Hand and hand we both walked down the stairs towards the den. When we reached the bottom of the stairs I’d see everyone digging, and looking for the books.

After about five minutes of looking for at least two or one of the poetry books we came up with my last book that I’ve written my last entries. “I think I found it.” Marcus Jr. said. Everyone looked up from what they were perusing through and came running over to where Marcus Jr. was.

I walked over to where they were and I smiled. It was an old composition book, it was dusty, and had a couple of spider webs when I turned the pages. But, the ink hadn’t been erased, or has been wet. Alyssa said, “Mom, why don’t you read something to us.”

“Well, alright…”

21 Re: && The Struggle . 011910 on Tue Jan 19, 2010 2:20 pm

Vava

avatar


Expression Night...

That was Then


I desperately wanted to go to Marcus’s game tonight. I didn’t know why. Maybe it was because I was excited to see him again. Or maybe it was because I wanted to see him in his tights showing off those butt cheeks or even to see how his number 4 jerseys looked on him. But, unfortunately all hopes of seeing and dreaming had to come to a halt.

Kiara had put me to work that night offering my assisting to come up on the mike to introduced people. She didn’t know how shy I was so I went with the flow and I was sure that they wouldn’t have made fun of me now. “And now we will be having Maurice Brown.” I announced and the crowd screamed and clapped for the poet coming up on stage. I was sure to let her now afterwards.

“Good evening everyone.” The poet said greeting everyone and they didn’t hide that they were excited about seeing him instead they all repeated what he said adding a little echo to the greeting.He went on to begin reading his poem entitled ‘Ready’.

Once he finished everyone snapped their fingers to replace the once clapping. All of the crowds were smiles, but no one stood. My eyes perused around the room for no one in particular and my mind suddenly went to Marcus. I wasn’t expecting for him to come out to the poetry night because of his game. But, it would’ve been nice if he showed up. Or we’d walked home together again.

Me knowing that that it was no way possible because if his team did won he’d be out celebrating with his friends and team mates. He wouldn’t come back for me. Giving up I told Kiara that I’d wanted to perform a piece that I didn’t realize I wanted to perform at the sudden decision.

She nodded her head and smiled, walked over to the mike on stage and said, “Alright, everyone.” Everyone stopped their conversation or what they were doing to look up at her. “You’ve seen her all night and she’s down a wonderful job helping out with the show tonight… I’d like to introduce to ya’ll Desiree.” The crowd went wild, applauding, shrieking, screaming, and chanting my name.

I walked up to the mike up on the stage once more, hopefully for the last but not as an introducer, or host, but a performer, a poet. I smiled at the love the crowd showed me. There was a new word in my growing list of vocabulary, and it was Love. Love-- to have love or affection. “Thank you.” I said. “I hadn’t decided at first to come up here because I’m usually a shy person. But… for some reason I decided to perform.” The once love I received only seconds ago that had died revived again. I thanked them again and told them that I was going to perform poem that I called, 'The Secret Love'.

The Secret Love
So we’ve been distant for forever
But, only my heart was just a few seconds away
I done had huge crushes, to flush downs, to not too cute, and to switchin’
I call out your name wishing that you’d here me calling…
I am one crowd…
You are another…
Two different crowds aren’t supposed to blend
But, wanting to disobey them is our getaway…
So we blended in anyways…
Our drug addiction is our love
The snickers and giggles are our thoughts of happiness
The secret love will forever be flickered in the dark
But, will never in the light.
Secret love.


And the crowds love revived again, letting me know that they loved me. Each and every one of the audience’s faces had smiles on their faces and they were standing on their feet replacing the real snaps with applauds and giving me a standing ovation. I smiled and bowed down thanking them and mouthed the words to them. Getting off of the stage I walked over to the punch table but felt eyes burning in me.

I looked around but saw no one staring, so I turned around and asked Marie to pour me some punch into a plastic cup. I needed a drink after that performs. My lips were dry indicating that I needed to make a trip to the beauty store to get me a new lip gloss and chap sticks. I ran out this morning but I never made it to the store because I was too busy doing chores that I didn’t have time.

I felt a tap on my left shoulder and turned around to see Marcus smiling. So, wishes do come true. He’s here, standing in front of me, smiling. I smiled and had my tongue go over my dry lips once again. I smiled and ran my hand over my head making sure that all hairs were in place. They were but it reminded me that I needed a hair relaxer, and that too I would be getting that tomorrow at mid day.

He said hello and said, “I saw you up there.” My smile never went away but my habits took in place and went to work, letting my head rest at my chest looking at the ground. He lifted my head up so that we could make eye contact. We did up until I couldn’t hold his gaze anymore; I’d looked around the room now but not making eye contact.

“It was great poem you read up there.” He went on to say. I thanked him but my eyes still remained around the room. “Did you write that about me?” he asked. I smiled and finally looked at him. Those dimples said, “Hi.” Indicating that it wasn’t for show, and I was special in a kind of way.

“Why’d you say that for?” I asked him. He shrugged and said, he was just asking. I nodded my head and he continued saying, that he loved it. I blushed even more, and then I asked him, “How long you’ve been here?”

“Oh, I haven’t been here too long, just when you were about to perform.” He said. I nodded and sighed. “But, you really looked good up there. You didn’t look shy at all. You were real and honest.” Kiara came over to me and Marcus and said that I was really really good. Then, somehow Marcus disappeared on me.

22 Re: && The Struggle . 011910 on Tue Jan 19, 2010 2:23 pm

Vava

avatar


Got my Back...

That was Then


“There is always someone looking out for you… No matter how the situations are. If they offer… is because they love, care about you and want you to be and do better. If they don’t… then that’s how you know who really cares for you. Got my back... "



With the breeze coming in my direction going through my fresh new relaxer hair it felt great. It always felt great when I let my hair out of that hair holder or my usual buns. It always felt great. But, it wasn’t that easy and I always never had a reason to let it fall down to my back to let the world see how long and beautiful my brown hair with a streak of black looked. But, I’d always had a reason to let it down after I’d get it down.

Yeah, my mother gave me money to go do my hair. It was almost all she ever did or gave me. She’d give me money to go shopping for school or to do my hair, but never would have time to have girl time with me. I had to get a job. Being broke all the time wasn’t really great at all.

Sometimes I’d go to the mall and wished that I’d have the money to buy half of the pretty stuff that we’re on sale. But, I’d eventually come back with the cheap clothes seven dollar tops and fifteen dollar pants, shoes from payless. All I could afford. Sometimes it was fun to window shop. Sometimes it wasn’t. Why, because I was always alone. I never had a friend to go shopping with.

I looked up from the ground and saw that my house had come into view. I turned to look in the direction of Marcus’s house. I wished he was outside so that I could ask him why he had vanished on me. I shrugged it off when I saw no one outside and their car not in the driveway.

I continued and walked inside my door to be greeted with the television in the family room open. It was a very useless room. We weren’t a real family. They were a real family, mom and dad. I wasn’t apart in any of there fun. I ignored the speaking to them part and headed up to my room.

Once there I opened my book bag to start on my math homework. It had been a kind of okay, mixed with rough, love, and concerned weekend for me. Sometimes when my weekends were horrible I’d wished I had a weekend like this one. And now I was finally experiencing a great weekend. I owed it all to Expression.

After making sure all homework done only an hour an a half Kiara called me asking if I wanted to go to the mall. I told her that I couldn’t and she actually begged me to come. So, yeah, I gave in and we went to the mall. Now we are here at the mall looking at a couple of stuff.

She pointed to a store called, Downtown, and we both headed over to it. They really had some nice things in there. Really, really nice things. But, I couldn’t afford it. Heck, like I told you earlier I’m broke. I have nothing, nada, zip, none, zero, and zilch. Kiara pointed to an outfit that she thought was cute and I told her no. It wasn’t me it was in fact true.

“Girl quit playing. You’ve been here for about an hour and you’ve haven’t seen anything you’ve like. Every cute thing I show you you turn it down.” She said. I put me head down. It was bad enough for me to keep turning things down. But, for her to confront me on it was another. “Des, what’s really going on with you?” she asked me.

I sighed. I had to explain myself. I never had to do that to anyone. “I-I… I don’t know where to start.” I started. She came closer walking with me to one of the dressing rooms that had a bench inside. We sat down, and I began to tell her about my situation. You know, I’m fat, I can’t afford things, and how my parent don’t talk to me. I didn’t tell her everything but it was a start.

When I finished she was at awe. She lifted her hand to push away my hair from my face, wiped hers and my tears, and said, “I want you to know that you are my best friend, and I will always have your back. You are a smart, beautiful, and talented person. I don’t care what others think of you and I want you to think the same. You are your own person.”

The effusing tears in my eyes came more and more as she said each and every sentence. I so badly wished for a friend like her. I wanted a friend to understand me, one that would have my back, and one that would give me advice and was my backbone. Now, I can finally say that I have one.

“I want us to go back out there and we are going to find something for you.” she said. But, I was starting to doubt this new relationship when she said that. I’m meant did this girl did not hear what I’d just said? I am broke, & I can not afford anything in that store. Then, she said, “Don’t worry. I’ll pay for you. I just want you to feel comfortable and be happy. It’ll be a gift.” I smiled and we both left the dressing room and going out to the main store both separating and going into our own sections. She to the Junior section and I to the plus size section.

After Shopping Kiara took me to Carnival the ice cream place and we had a blast there sharing corny jokes, and talk about fire topics about celebrities and etc. I waved goodbye to her in her nice Mercedes car. Boy, do I wish I had one that looked just like that. But, that would never happen. Not the way things are going, for sure.

I opened the house door and started to ascend the stairs when my mother asked me, “Where have you been?” Wow that was a shocking moment. She has never asked me that question. Not even when I was young. I told her I was out with a friend and she asked me another question, “So, how’d you afford to buy these clothing’s?”

“Um, my friend bought it for me.” I said. She was furious and I could see it in her eyes. Then, she asked, why? “She bought them for me as a gift.” She went on to ask me how I was going to pay her back. I wanted to roll my eyes at this lady. All the years that I’ve lived here and was alive she’s never cared for me. And here this lady was finally for the first time asking me these questions. Oh, wowser. Now, she wants to play the mommy role. “It was a gift and beside she said that I didn’t have to pay her back.” I told her.

I could tell she hated that I had finally went out and gotten some nice stuff for myself. She envied me. She hated the whole moment. She felt humiliated that she’d lost and hadn’t won for the first time. I shrugged off the vibe she was giving me and headed up the stairs to my room.


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Reviews please: CC, Questions, Comments, && Predictions.



23 ! on Wed Jan 20, 2010 6:05 pm

TheBee

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beautiful!!!!! i was wondering when i was going to see another add...! loved it!

24 Re: && The Struggle . 011910 on Tue Jan 26, 2010 8:57 pm

TheBee

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please

25 Re: && The Struggle . 011910 on Tue Jan 26, 2010 9:15 pm

golden07

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Admin
Her mom sucks...
so is she going to wear
her hair down for Mr. Marcus?
I so love this sory...
I want to see if he will sho up
soon


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